Why is it that I always manage to be taken by surprise by my moontime?

I mean, hello, it only happens every freakin' month and fairly regular now too.

Yet somehow it sneaks up on me when I least expect it and I have no clue that my tower of righteous anger at some small misdemeanor on Daniel's part is in fact built to such grand heights with the unstable mortar of oh so many hormones rushing out of control within this subtle womans body of mine.

Even the dissolving into tears after it all fell down didn't clue us in. Or the subsequent horniness...

No, I didn't comprehend until morning meditation, when the cramps began to kick in and the poor meditation cushion paid the price for my lack of awareness.

How the heck are you supposed to clean those things anyway? I guess monks don't really have that problem, huh?

I don't hate my body, or my period. I'm grateful to be a healthy woman with working womanparts... I don't even mind the pain so much. Sometimes I can even tune into the sacredness, the richness of blood and life, the turning and the flow of all things... The common thread of pleasure and pain that connects all beings, mothers and children, man and woman, everyone.

Once, when I was exploring the realm of the Hawaiin baby woodrose seed, I saw that connection, and I laughed out loud at the poignant vision of beauty and purpose behind it all, the primal, noble magnificence and glory of human love relationships and I saw with breathtaking clarity the bittersweetness, the sorrow of misunderstandings, petty mistrust and great fear that clouds our awareness and cause us so much suffering.

I don't recall much of the amazing detail of that voluptuous evening, but I was left with a sense of relief, a dim memory, like the murmur of a goddess half-forgotten, yet deeply reassuring, speaking of truth, love and acceptance. Teaching of the unexpected, the seemingly unfortunate miseries, mistakes and misunderstandings being a part of the path. It comforts me when I feel agonisingly lost and misunderstood. All is not lost! I know that were I able to see clearly, the beauty, the bodhicitta, is still right here hidden under all the muck.

Whoo man, did I ever get off the beaten track with this one.

Anyway, as I was saying, I don't want my periods to go away. In fact I really like the warm, fuzzy, wild, wanton shebeastme that characterises phase two, I just wish I had more of a clue about when all this tempestuousness was going to visit itself upon me.

As Daniel said today, If only there was some little beepbeepbeep that would sound in our heads... "beepbeep! This is your PMS early warning system. Prepare for freaky, unexpected hormone-related bursts of irritation and affection. beepbeep! Apply forgiveness and doting generously to all surfaces and all will be well. beep."